Friday, September 20, 2013

Punk'd, Kiwi Style

It's a thin line that exists between "prank" and "home improvement project."

The first time I watched the video below, I marveled at the outrageous amount of time, effort, money, and manpower that had to go into this prank. And I considered moving to New Zealand, just for the chance to become friends with these guys. But then I read the write-up at Gizmodo:
Friends don't get better than this. They could always have your back, they could be your groomsmen at your wedding, hell they could even give a kidney to you and they won't ever beat these guys who pranked their friend by replacing his entire home plumbing system with beer. As in every faucet would spew out sweet delicious beer instead of water. As in beers on every tap. It's a dream come true.

It's obviously a viral marketing campaign by New Zealand's Tui beer but I'll excuse that because for one, beer. Also, these guys are just so eager to rig their friend's house with beer and then drink it together that I find it absolutely adorable. Plus, New Zealand accents are pretty awesome on the scale of accents. And lastly, who wouldn't want this to happen to them?!

Well...damn. This is still hilarious. And effective. *googles "apartments for rent in Auckland"*

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Wifey Material: Scarlet Bouvier

I'm new to Scarlet's fan club, but I'm waving my "I heart Scarlet" flag just as vigorously as anyone else. She's beautiful. She's funny. She loves booze. She loves getting naked. And she loves cats. And she loves funny cat jokes about booze (that I can only imagine she tweeted while naked).

Hello, Mrs. D.E.F.I...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

We Do This Shit Errday

When it comes to unloading kegs, the folks in Ireland have this shit down to a science.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Social Drinking Excellence: Wild Pig

Go home, Pig, you're drunk.

From The Guardian:
The animal was seen stealing three six-packs of beer from campers before ransacking rubbish bags for food.

One camper reported seeing the pig guzzling the beer before getting involved in an altercation with a cow.

"In the middle of the night these people camping opposite us heard a noise, so they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was, scrunching away at their cans," said the visitor, who estimated that the pig had consumed 18 beers.

"Then he went and raided all the rubbish bags. There were some other people camped right on the river and they saw him being chased around their vehicle by a cow."

The pig was reportedly last seen resting under a tree, possibly nursing a hangover.
TJ first sent me this story at about 9 a.m. today; 15+ hours later, I'm still searching for something witty to add to all of this. So far all I've got is, "Go home, Pig, you're drunk."

This might just be the most perfect news blurb to ever be blurb'd. But, for the sake of a challenge, let's see what I can do:

  • Boy, Babe has really fallen on hard times since Pig in the City.
  • Turn-back-the-clock-to-my-college-days-slam: A drunk pig on the rampage, rummaging through the trash for food? Weird. Kappas usually just hit up the soft-serve machine.
  • The fact that no one has come forward with video footage of a drunk pig getting chased around a car by a cow is a travesty, and has left my life feeling incomplete.
  • Does this make this pig the Australian version of Spuds MacKenzie?

Pig, I'll be hand-delivering your Rummy Award. I'm coming to Australia to drink with you.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A Not So Top 10

Here is a video list of 10 little-known facts involving alcohol. And I'll echo the sentiments of BroBible: #2...*shivers*