This week's "winner" is Tommy Riser of Blaine, WA, who believes that if at first you don't fail, then try, try again. From the Edmonton Journal:
The Bellingham Herald reports Riser first slammed his pickup and trailer into a utility pole Monday night. Abandoning the wreck for his wife's VW sedan, he next proceeded to crash the latter into a guard rail. Cleverly, he went back home and retrieved the company-owned tow truck he drives for a living.
After he pulled up to his handiwork and was about to hitch one of his damaged vehicles to the tow truck, investigating police saw that Riser was bleeding from his forehead. When they approached, the constables also noticed Riser was reeking of booze and promptly failed every field sobriety test.
He's been arrested, jailed and charged with three counts of driving under the influence, which could well keep him off the road both professionally and privately for some time.
Three drunk driving offenses in one day. It takes most backwoods lottery winners and US Congressmen years to accomplish such a feat. And although Riser lives in the US, he was picked up across the border in Canada, which makes him an international man of drunken stupidity.
Mr. Riser, here's your Rummy. You'll notice that we've built a small breathalyzer into it, just for you.