Are You Gonna Go My Way?

This is good ol' fashioned American ingenuity at its best. Kellyann Wargo, a University of Michigan senior, needs money for the booze. Who doesn’t? So she’s decided to get paid for doing what she does best—picking up the slutty ladies of Ann Arbor in the morning, after they’ve done god’s work with their random hookups the night before.

From Bro Bible:

I have a particularly friendly roommate (Amanda) who takes advantage of my access to the mom van [sic] that I drive- I have it for work. She always texts me to pick her up in the morning and then I make her buy me McDonalds for payment. With spring break quickly approaching I realized I can't keep eating McDonalds the way I do. She suggested I make a business out of it because she, like many girls, doesn't want to call a taxi that takes forever and is usually some sort of father figure, middle aged man, driver.

I fully support anything that encourages drunk coeds to let their not-so-inner-slut out. Though I would point out, Kellyann, that your pledge of discretion is somewhat undermined by how casually you just outted Amanda. (Amanda, if you’re reading this…scream at me.) And throwing in the Plan B coupon? Sheer genius.

Now can someone please start a service like this in Shadyside?