Social Drinking Excellence: Adam Klimek

Yes, Virginia, there is an Adam Klimek, and he's our latest Rummy Award winner. Public drunkeness is often outrageous, but rarely is it so festive.

From The Huffington Post:

Adam Klimek, who entered the Brown Elephant shop in a Santa hat and fake fur coat, was reportedly "using profanity to the customers and appeared intoxicated," according to WLS AM. So a store employee politely escorted the drunk and swearing Klimek to the door.

As he was leaving, he allegedly shoved a store employee to the ground, then took off running south on Halsted Street.

After being caught and arrested, Klimek then "spit at and kicked an officer in the shin, causing her to suffer bruises and swelling."

Some thoughts:

(1.) The "fake fur coat"—I wish they were clearer about the role it played in Mr. Klimek's ensemble. Was it red with white trim? If it was just a standard brown coat, why didn't he wear a Santa coat to match the hat? Was he too broke, or just too fabulous? Maybe it was white, and he was hoping a random animal rights activist would mistake it for real fur and throw red paint on him, thereby creating a Santa coat.

(2.) I've got to say, though, that this is all making me rethink the traditional Santa garb. Maybe St. Nick needs a fresh 2010 retooling? I think a fur coat-wearing "pimp" Santa with a dollar-sign earring and some Now and Later gators could be something for future generations to cherish.

(3.) Kicking any cop during an arrest is, quite obviously, stupid. Kicking a female officer so hard that you injure her? I guarantee there's an hour or two of his booking that won't be appearing on the official police report. I'd be shocked if Klimek didn't look like Louis Winthorpe III the next day.

Adam, for being such a good example of a bad drunk, you'll be finding a Rummy in your stocking this year.