Sunday, November 16, 2014

Social Drinking Excellence: John Boyett

*pulls old cardboard box out from back of a closet*

*blows off thick layer of dust, revealing the word "Rummies"*

It's been a while...

This page has been quiet, as have I for the most part. But the drunken shenanigans, they'll always be out there, being had by someone.

From Shutdown Corner:
John Elway is as popular as ever in Denver, but name dropping Elway did not help Broncos practice squad safety John Boyett when he was arrested on Monday. Elway, the Broncos general manager, didn't seem too impressed either, because he cut Boyett on Thursday.

Boyett allegedly had a heck of a time out, it sounds like from the police report, via the Denver Post. Take a gander at what Boyett was arrested for. It's quite the list:
"In summary, according to the police report, Boyett was highly intoxicated, threatened a bartender at a sports bar where he ate, drank and did shots, was belligerent to his fellow patrons, assaulted a cab driver, stole a shovel from a construction site so he could whack the cab driver, fled the scene and tried to hide from police by trying to bury himself under mulch."

...It's not like that report wasn't enough for the Broncos to consider cutting Boyett, who was cut by the Colts last September after being charged with disorderly public intoxication and resisting arrest (he allegedly played the "I'm a Colts player" card then), but Boyett then decided that his best move was to tell the police to "contact his boss, John Elway." He did this repeatedly, the Post said, after he was arrested and put in the back of a patrol car.
Well now. Start the clock:
  • I take no joy from this, as a Raiders fan. None. ...Okay, maybe a little.
  • Okay, a lot.
  • Really, we shouldn't judge Mr. Boyett. One day of watching Peyton Manning and Papa John pal around and you'd be drinking yourself into a stupor, too.
  • If he'd been going after Papa John with the shovel, instead of a cabbie, the cops look the other way, right?
  • If this was the '70s, Boyett's night on the town would've been called "Tuesday." And most of the team would have either been right there with him, acting a fool, or at a bar on the other side of town, acting a fool. And bad press about it never would have gotten out. Welcome to the 21st century.
  • Being that I know someone who has tried hiding from police in recent years, I'll have to suggest Boyett's mulch idea. Then again, it's not like it worked for Boyett...
Mr. Boyett, your Rummy is in the mail—it's even been autographed:

"Dear Johnny B.,

Good luck on all of your future endeavors parole hearings.

John Elway"


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