Monday, April 15, 2013

Social Drinking Excellence: Aubrey Plaza

I'm conflicted; this is ever-so-obviously deserving of a Rummy Award, but I really want to make this post a "Wifey Material". I've had a crush on Miss Plaza for years, and seeing her get ridiculously drunk and stupid...does things to me.

Don't judge me...

The Rummy-winning performance:

From the USA Today:
Parks and Recreation star Aubrey Plaza stepped onstage while Will Ferrell was accepting his MTV Golden Popcorn Comedic Genius trophy.

She had #The To Do List, the name of her new movie, written on her chest. Ferrell, who was dressed in a suit made of dollar-bill fabric, had just been speaking of his dreams to make people laugh and "dress like Dennis Rodman," in his acceptance speech.

A barefoot Plaza, carrying a drink, walked up on stage and tried to take the trophy. But Ferrell wouldn't let it go, so the actress, who said nothing, put her head down and scurried back to her seat in the front row, where she spilled her drink and then sat there.
Oh, Aubrey. Let me count the ways I love thee.
  1. The look on her face when the camera comes in for a close-up at the end...oh, we all know that one, don't we? That's the look of "I'm the asshole? ...I'm the asshole."
  2. Follow Peter Dinklage's eyes from the start of the video. Then try to picture what's going on in his mind.
  3. A hypothetical scenario: You're dating a beautiful, up-and-coming Hollywood actress. She invites you to escort her to the MTV Movie Awards. The two of you pregame before the show—of course—and then start making use of the open bar once you get there. By halfway through the event, you've been doing backstrokes in Belvedere for a few hours. You're fine, but your lady? Not so much. You're half charmed by her ultra-goofy drunken alter-ego, and half shocked that you're not the one asking Kim Kardashian if her fetus has had to refute claims of getting ass implants yet. But through all of it you just laugh. Who cares if insecure celebs can't take a joke? Besides, you've got front row seats, and your woman is looking sexy in her dress. And you know she's going to jump you in the limo (hopefully before she throws up and passes out, which are also definitely going to happen). Then, halfway through Will Ferrell's acceptance speech, she pops up out of her chair and heads for the stage. By the time she gets back to her seat, you see security guards headed your way.

    In that moment when the ushers direct her to the exit, do you (a.) grab her purse, trot out of the theater behind her, and wonder if the limo sex will be even hotter now; or (b.) lean back in your chair, look over to the person sitting next to you and say loudly, "Thank god she's gone. Some people just don't know how to handle themselves..."?
  4. ...asking for a friend.
  5. These two feel me.
  6. There's the off chance, scripted as this looks in the beginning, that this was supposed to be a bit. But even if that was the case, it still just means that the whole thing got derailed by her being absolutely shlammered.
  7. Bonus points for being barefoot. No truly epic drunken deeds happen while fully-shoe'd.
  8. Was anyone else expecting Leslie Knope to come running up behind her and pull her off the stage?
  9. Give her credit for joking about it not too long after on Twitter, although...
  10. How did she sober up that quickly?
  11. ...Oh yeah—she got kicked out of the awards show. That tends to accelerate your road to recovery.
If I know my girl, she'll shrug it off and keep it moving. In reality, this is all just a bump in the road. What I've read of The To Do List sounds promising, and Parks and Rec just keeps growing in popularity.

Your Rummy's in the mail, Aubrey, along with half of a gold heart pendant—the other half is hanging from a chain around my neck.

1 comment:

city said...

thanks for sharing..