Friday, November 16, 2012

Scary Hot

If you're under 30, allow me to introduce you to the frightening banshee above: Her name is Claire Forlani. And she's not Scottish.

She was born in England, though she's lived in America for much of her life, and has rarely shown any effects of an accent on or off the stage. Her husband, however, is a Scot (no, his name's not Angus), so she does have some Scottish in her, occasionally. *rimshot* He's also an actor, so I can only imagine Dewars chose her over him because he doesn't look quite as good sitting on a table in a miniskirt.

Coincidentally, if you ARE under 30 and are wondering why you've never heard of Forlani—or if she seems vaguely familiar—then let me share the "Career" section of her Wikipedia page for reference (this is the entire section, which will only further illustrate my point):
Forlani's parents moved to San Francisco in 1993, in order to allow for wider casting opportunities in Hollywood films. Subsequently, Forlani was cast in the television mini-series J.F.K.: Reckless Youth and the film Police Academy: Mission to Moscow. In 1995, she played the supporting role of Brandi Svenning in Mallrats. In 1996, Forlani appeared in a supporting role as Sean Connery's daughter in the film The Rock. She continued to appear in both widely released and smaller-budget films. In 1998, she starred with Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. She then appeared in Antitrust, a thriller released in January 2001. Forlani was the new face of L'Oréal in 2001. She has been ranked No.51 (2000) and No.89 (2001) in Stuff magazine's 100 Sexiest Women, No.85 (2001) in FHM magazine's 100 Sexiest Women and was slotted in Loaded's Hot 100 Babes. In 2003, she co-starred with Jackie Chan in The Medallion.

In autumn 2006, Forlani joined the cast of CSI: NY in a recurring role as a medical examiner, Dr. Peyton Driscoll.[4] In February 2007, Forlani portrayed Tori Bodeen in the film version of Nora Roberts's best-selling book Carolina Moon. In 2008, she starred opposite Daniel Craig in Flashbacks of a Fool. In 2011, Forlani played Queen Igraine in Camelot and Kate Templeton in Love's Kitchen alongside her husband Dougray Scott.[5]

In 2011, she also made an appearance in NCIS: Los Angeles as Agent Lauren Hunter replacing Henreitta Lange (Linda Hunt) temporarily as the operations director at NCIS for the end of season 2. She also appeared in season 3's finale, where she is killed in a car blast.
You'll note the steep and sudden drop off in high-profile acting gigs. For a small period of time she was every Mallrats-loving stoner's dream girl; now she's inciting fear boners on the behalf of a blended scotch people drink when they don't have an extra few dollars to buy entry-level bottles of Johnnie Walker Red Label.

Every company starting a new marketing campaign does an "extended cut" ad exclusively for the internet these days, and Dewars is no different. It appears below, but if you've got a weak bladder, beware: this shit's like a trailer for a Scottish version of American Horror Story.

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