Social Drinking Excellence: Michelle Watson

Well, well, well... What do we have here? The demure lass pictured to the right couldn't possibly have produced anything Rummy-worthy, could she?

Well...

From Jalopnik:

Witnesses tell police Watson was driving her Honda Civic in the middle of the road, into numerous curbs, and finally onto a sidewalk while trying to park. The first officer on the scene describes her as belligerent and says she used "profane language" in her refusal of a sobriety test.

After some tussling with the original officer, fellow Officer Wing arrived to help subdue the suspect. Here's where Watson does her best Rockette impression:

"Watson was wearing a purse which was draped over her shoulder. Ofc. Wing attempted to remove the purse. When doing so, Watson, using her right knee struck Ofc. Wing in the crotch. Watson was then taken to the ground and placed in handcuffs. Watson refused to get up and had to be carried to Ofc. Wing's patrol vehicle, #1317."

...Once in custody, Watson began to kick the interior of poor Officer Wing's patrol car so they had to further restrain her. When she finally arrived at the jail they registered a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit.

Then, as a cherry on top, Watson showed off true On the Rocks style when posing for her mug shot:

*sigh* Someone start the clock:

• First, a little background: The picture at the top of the page was posted to her Facebook account the day after this incident. So, if nothing else, we have proof that Miss Watson cleans up relatively well.
• ...She was, however, on her way to see "Breaking Dawn". I'm not certain, but that might be the worst display of judgment we've seen from her yet.
• Three times the legal limit? You don't know how much effort it's taking me to not fall in love right now...
• ...Though, what with her arrest-resistant ways, I'm thinking she and Jay Swag might be a match made in drunk tank heaven.
• Someday women will learn to only use the crotch kick in times of extreme danger. It's the "presidential red button" of hand-to-hand combat. If a vagrant with a knife is trying to drag you into an alleyway? Give it your best Shane Lechler. If a cop is trying to get you into a squad car during a traffic stop? Maybe dial back your means of dissuasion, just a tad.
• Did Officer Wing get workman's comp and short term disability? Do they give short term disability pay if the time span is only as brief as five minutes of being hunched over against the squad car, weezing and spitting? Although...
• The casual description of the encounter almost makes it sound as if Watson's kick had little to no effect on the cop. If you look closely in the first picture, her right knee appears to be in the foreground, and there looks like what may be a bruise on it. That, of course, would be the same right knee that went in search of Wingnuts. Did she bruise herself...kneeing this officer in the junk?

...I'm making a mental note right now of NEVER fucking with this guy. Ever.

Michelle, your Rummy is on the way. It's wrapped in a "Team Ofc. Wing" Twilight shirt.

The homie TJ with the assist.