Texts from Last Night

Gracias to TD for the find on this one. This is sort of like "FMyLife" with an "On the Rocks" twist. And I thought the drunk texts my friends and I send back and forth were ill-advised.

Txts Frm Lst Nght

A few examples from the "Best Nights" section:

(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

(321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

(419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked

(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

(406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

And a few examples from the "Worst Nights" section:

(978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

(651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

(864): and the officer said have you been drinking
(864): and i said NOO SIR.
(864): and he said, I am a woman.

(650): Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.

(817): Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
(405): Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
(817): I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.