"You Stay Classy, San Diego"

I’m off to the land of milk and honey. Well, not exactly; the land of Coronas and Coppertone, maybe? Tomorrow I leave for a weekend vacay in San Diego, CA with T.C. and Hurley (loyal readers may remember him as the friend who announced and then began the shot barrage that destroyed me on my birthday—roughly the equivalent to putting me in the paddle-less canoe and shoving it into Sh*t Creek). T.C. was invited to a coworker’s bachelor party, and in turn invited Hurley and me to come along, since he doesn’t know any of the coworker’s friends. I’ve always loved San Diego (I’m still just a SoCal boy at heart), and have been known to enjoy a good party now and then; receiving an “economic stimulus check” made the trip a no-brainer. Thank you, Dubya.

It figures that Kev (The Hero) is in Vegas the same weekend that I’m in Cali; I would’ve enjoyed kicking his ass at cards and then hitting the S.D. clubs with him afterwards. Another time, I guess.

There is a part of me that’s sad about leaving Pittsburgh this weekend, though; the Pens pulled out Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Detroit Monday night, and are two wins away from a miracle comeback. If they win the Cup, it will be on Saturday and I’ll be 2500 miles away from the biggest party this city has seen since 1992.** The feeling would be bittersweet if the Pens shocked the world but I wasn’t able to do the Bell Biv Devoe dance from “Poison” in the middle of Carson Street while drunken Yinzer chicks around me ripped off their tops, made out, and sprayed IC Light all over each other.

Salud.


[**Some readers might point to the Steelers’ alleged win in Super Bowl XL as a more recent triumph by a local team. But as an honest—albeit biased—sports fan, I refuse to recognize that debacle as a legitimate game; for similar reasons, I maintain that Barret Robbins’ insane actions nullified the results of Super Bowl XXXVII. Factor in all we’ve learned since Spygate first broke, and history shall now show the last five Super Bowl champions as follows:

2008 – New York Giants
2007 – Indianapolis Colts
2001 – Baltimore Ravens
2000 – St. Louis Rams
1999 – Denver Broncos

I have spoken.]