Get My Back On This

Everybody knows there are man rules, those unspoken codes of conduct that any man worth his testicles must follow. Many of them, not coincidentally, are related to alcohol, its purchase, consumption and other assorted issues that arise when imbibing.

One of these is, if you go to a bar as a patron, you have to have at least one drink.

I don't mean like a house minimum. I mean a self-respect minimum. If you intentionally and willingly chose to enter a house of booze, you have to have at least one drink (or beer, for those of you who swill that vileness). It's common courtesy toward the establishment and just makes good sense.

However, as we all know, there are exceptions to every rule. I'm volunteering one now to the aforementioned law.

If you enter a bar and, unbeknownst to you, there are three or more women with which you are or were romantically and/or physically involved, you can bail as soon as humanly possible. I say the number's three because two you should be able to handle if you're the kind of guy who dates enough women that two happen to be in the same bar at the same time. Three is pushing it.

This happened to me last night at a regular hangout with a representative each from the three major groups: Former Ladyfriends, Current Ladyfriends and Soon-To-Be Ladyfriends. I gulped a glass of water and broke the fuggout. Thoughts?