Wifey Material: Lauren Bishop

Meet Lauren. Lauren is beautiful. Lauren is a drinker. Lauren is hilarious.

And, as good as she is on Twitter, she's even better in video.





Seriously, someone give this woman a TV show. Where's Dan Harmon at? You're telling me she wouldn't kill as a recurring character on Community, Dan? You can't show a fellow lover of booze and comedy some love?

[*ahem* Speaking of which, Dan, you haven't returned any of my emails. Has your assistant been getting them to you? Dan? Dan?...]

Okay, I maayyyy be a little biased; I love Lauren. I'd even want to hang out with her if she wasn't hot—that's the male equivalent of true love! I love her so much, though, that I'm starting to get worried; the more I watch her suck down boxed wine, the more I think we might be related.

Are You Gonna Go My Way?

This is good ol' fashioned American ingenuity at its best. Kellyann Wargo, a University of Michigan senior, needs money for the booze. Who doesn’t? So she’s decided to get paid for doing what she does best—picking up the slutty ladies of Ann Arbor in the morning, after they’ve done god’s work with their random hookups the night before.

From Bro Bible:

I have a particularly friendly roommate (Amanda) who takes advantage of my access to the mom van [sic] that I drive- I have it for work. She always texts me to pick her up in the morning and then I make her buy me McDonalds for payment. With spring break quickly approaching I realized I can't keep eating McDonalds the way I do. She suggested I make a business out of it because she, like many girls, doesn't want to call a taxi that takes forever and is usually some sort of father figure, middle aged man, driver.

I fully support anything that encourages drunk coeds to let their not-so-inner-slut out. Though I would point out, Kellyann, that your pledge of discretion is somewhat undermined by how casually you just outted Amanda. (Amanda, if you’re reading this…scream at me.) And throwing in the Plan B coupon? Sheer genius.

Now can someone please start a service like this in Shadyside?

Walk of Pride

After a latenight adventure, late last year, I asked friends (via Facebook status), "Is it still a 'walk of shame' if you're not ashamed?" The replies and answers that I got were surprising. Well, I mean...surprising if you didn't already realize that I run with some crazy ass people. And if you've read any of my stories on this page, then, well...you already realize that I run with some crazy ass people.

This ad is nice spot by the elrock over at Us, Bottles, and Friends.