For That Deep Down Body Thirst

A recent Spanish study takes the whole "Great Taste, Less Filling" debate in a whole new direction.

From WTAM 1100 in Cleveland:

Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body.

The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone, The Telegraph, a Biritsh newspaper, reported Friday.

Professor Manuel Garzon, who led the study, said the bubbles in beer can help quench thirst and the carbohydrates in the beverage can help make up for burned calories.

The study involved a group of students asked to perform strenuous activities at a temperature of about 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Half of the students were given a pint of beer after their exercise and half were given a pint of water. Garzon said the hydration affect on the beer drinkers was "slightly better" than the sober group.

Juan Antonio Corbalan, a cardiologist who has worked with Real Madrid football players and Spain's national basketball team, told The Telegraph he has long recommended beer to professional sportsmen after exhausting activities, as the drink is optimal for rehydrating the body.

I wish this news had broken 15 years ago. It would've made three-a-days at football camp a lot more interesting.

My friend Deirdre with the find.

Seeing's Believing

Fellas, the next time your morning after includes a surprise visitor—the kind that puts the "shame" in "walk of shame"—and your boys start preparing their Last Comic Standing auditions, remind them that you're the victim in this tragedy.

From Delish:

The study, which was published in the journal Alcohol (yes, it's real and academic), was conducted by scientists from Rochampton University in England. The study questioned why heavy alcohol consumption increased levels of attraction in people. The scientists theorized that this could be due to impaired perception of bilateral asymmetry in faces.

...As they expected, the scientists found that the inebriated students were unable to detect symmetry as well as the sober students. The drunk young Brits did not consistently prefer the symmetrical faces to the asymmetrical faces, unlike the sober ones. The unexpected finding was that men made fewer mistakes than women when determining facial symmetry - even when under the influence of alcohol.

So, while we guys have been conditioned to be ashamed of ourselves for letting the multiple rounds of Jager Bombs lower our standards, it's been the girls who've been using us for cheap and shameful mattress aerobics.

*curls into a ball in the shower, sobbing* "It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault..."

Researchers say the study gives evidence that lowered inhibitions aren't the only cause behind beer goggles. Our ability to perceive instinctual visual cues of attraction is compromised, and this misleads the sloshed brain to see attraction where the sober brain doesn't.

Which sounds to me like...the classical definition of beer goggles. Exactly how much time and money did they waste on this research? This sounds like a big excuse to get a bunch of strangers drunk and horny. A few of those test subjects may be sobbing in their showers, too.

Don't worry guys. It's not your fault.

Live to Drink = Drink to Live

If you're a prissy non-drinker, a new report suggests that the fun people like moi will outlive you. Of course, if you're a prissy non-drinker, chances are you don't read this blog. But I digress...

The next time you've polished off your third beer, and you have that internal debate over whether to stop the party or do a cannonball into shit creek by ordering a fourth beer, do the responsible thing: Order two beers. And a round of shots.

From Time.com:

The sample of those who were studied included individuals between ages 55 and 65 who had had any kind of outpatient care in the previous three years. The 1,824 participants were followed for 20 years. One drawback of the sample: a disproportionate number, 63%, were men. Just over 69% of the never-drinkers died during the 20 years, 60% of the heavy drinkers died and only 41% of moderate drinkers died.

These are remarkable statistics. Even though heavy drinking is associated with higher risk for cirrhosis and several types of cancer (particularly cancers in the mouth and esophagus), heavy drinkers are less likely to die than people who have never drunk. One important reason is that alcohol lubricates so many social interactions, and social interactions are vital for maintaining mental and physical health. As I pointed out last year, nondrinkers show greater signs of depression than those who allow themselves to join the party.

This past Saturday I worked hard to extend my life expectancy, drinking Long Island Iced Teas at Shady Grove like there was a toy prize at the bottom of each glass. I managed to black out somewhere between wingmanning for Dupa and waking up in my bed yesterday morning.

[And, yes, I'm aware that I just said that blackouts aren't common occurrences for me. Fight me.]