Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Party Hard

I've heard it said that "to the victor go the spoils." Rarely has that been more true than during the Pittsburgh Penguins' Stanley Cup Championship parade last week.

If you're not a hockey fan, or just live outside of the 412 and weren't privy to the extended coverage that local media gave the event, then you probably don't understand just how much celebrating this team did. Most of them, especially the younger guys like Jake Guentzel (22-years-old) and Connor Sheary (25-years-old) spent a few hours of a steamy, 80+ degree Southwestern PA day pounding beers on the back of pickup trucks that crawled along the parade route. Their resulting dehydration levels were a thing of beauty.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Sean Gentille did a masterful job the next day of documenting the highlights of the day.
A year after he was caught on camera with a fistful of aluminum Bud Light bottles crammed into his face, Dumoulin had another solid beer-related moment. He bit a can that someone tossed him along the route — Bud Light again — and shotgunned it in the middle of the street.

The best performance was, by far, defenseman Olli Maatta. The pictures and clips cataloging Maatta's day in Gentille's piece are each more spectacular than the one that came before it. And the photo of him being held up on his feet on back of the truck, wearing shades and a sloppy childlike grin that make him look like Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club [right], is destined to be a new avi or poster or something that I can keep in my life forever.

Though the parade passed less than a block away from my office building, I was feeling under the weather and declined to go out and watch firsthand. Instead, I watched on the 65in flat screen tv in our boardroom. Now I regret that decision. If, FSM willing, the Pens get the threepeat next year, I'm calling off from work, buying a case, and splitting it with the team as they pass by.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Sumumabitch

Thank you Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, for creating On The Rocks' official theme song.


Thursday, July 2, 2015

Wifey Material: Tina Fey

Okay, she deserves this status for much more than just this scene. Hell, her verse on Childish Gambino's mixtape ROYALTY alone earned her a Hall of Fame induction. But this is wonderful acting, if for no other reason than it reminded me of me and my sister...if our roles were reversed.


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Man Up

Man, we've all been there. You're at the spot. You're peoples have just ordered ten rounds of shots in the past hour. And you've found yourself alone, confronted with that make-or-break moment...



From Jay Kash's Twitter page...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

One for the Books

Don't you hate it when your book club night turns into a game of Edward 40 Hands? Story of my life, man.


Friday, January 17, 2014

Creatures of Habit


My cousin gets all the credit for finding this list: "23 Weird Things That Everyone Does While Drunk". We've all seen lists like this before, but I'll give Chelsea Fagan credit for being incredibly accurate with hers.

I mean, you know, accurate for other people. I don't do any of this stu—
10. Getting on Gchat and striking up an incredibly emotional conversation with whoever happens to be online at that time.
*screams*

*deletes Gchat*

Monday, December 9, 2013

The Buddy System


A long, long, long time ago, a very wise young man gave you a very valuable life lesson: Make friends with your server. What that dashing, slightly tipsy gent didn't do is give you a long list of steps to take to make that happen. Thankfully, the folks at Thrillist are here to pick up where that other guy left off.

How to Become Your Bartender's Favorite Customer
Order simple when things get hectic
Even if the bartender designed the cocktail menu, he’ll be grateful if you ask for a beer or whiskey instead of an 8-ingredient masterpiece.

Handle your people when they get out of hand
If someone you brought in starts instigating fights, grabbing asses, etc, get them to stop, or get them to leave. Don’t wait for the bartender or bouncer to step in. Their first move’s gonna be to ask you to handle it, because you’re in a better position to calm your boy with words instead of judo.

Offer your bartender the right shot, for the right reasons
The right attitude’s “I know you’re working, but it’d be awesome if you joined us”, not “Screw your job, hop on our party train!”. Also, offer them their preferred shot, not yours; and remember that a shot is never a substitute for a tip.
Check out the full list, as it's full of great do's and don'ts, the latter of which I see less-practiced bargoers exhibit time and time again.

Oh, and while we're at it; the fourth tip on the list?


That aforementioned dashing gent invented this back in 2005. Where are my his damn royalties?

Friday, June 7, 2013

Scared Straight


Yeah, I know the feeling. What's it called when you're afraid of running out of St. Germain? Because I've got that one, too.

From Buzzfeed

Saturday, May 18, 2013

FKi -- "Hello"

Straight turnt up. I'm kind of mad this puppet lives a better life than I do.


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Worst

The worst night, ever.

I’m rarely far from random hyperbole. To an extent, it’s just part of the gig. Booze, in those moments when it has hold of you, usually makes things bigger and bolder. And when you’re writing about the moments when booze has had hold of you, well… But I’m also a product of the society in which I live. And in today’s social-media-infused, live-tweeting day-to-day, each new moment is the funniest/saddest/most exciting/profoundest known to mankind. Ever.

But my worst drinking night—or, better yet, nights—ever? That, young Skywalker, is what you call “real talk”.

I began thinking about the topic while writing my hangover post.
Three tales immediately jumped to the forefront in my mind.
None of them has been published in its entirety before now, though certainly not for lack of entertainment value. And, while I’ve had terrible nights that have been broadcast at On the Rocks—like, say, my birthday in 2008—I rank these three higher on the overall list. Maybe that’s because all of them happened back when the therapy that comes from writing about my debacles just wasn’t available. Or maybe, by subconscious tally, I’ve determined these to be the three tales I reference most at parties and other moments with friends. Whatever the reason may be, these are the crème de le crème of my boozing fails.


[Coming Soon...]

Friday, January 11, 2013

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Holiday Drinking Game

Not that you need any help numbing yourself during the nuisance that is the month of December...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Trailer: 21 & Over

This flick looks like it could be a good one. This comes from the makers of The Hangover, which is one hell of a pedigree for a movie about heavy drinking.


TJ with the assist.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Tip It Up

I've never watched the show; but, given all the boozing they're doing, I don't understand why these Men are so "Mad".



TJ with the assist.